I don't know if you've heard the recent news about the automotive industry's reaction to the proposed increase in the Corporate Average Fuel Economy (CAFE) standards, but I'll tell you this, our green guru Jeff Siegel certainly has.

When I asked him what he thought about it, he simply responded, "You smell that? That's the sweet smell of desperation!"

You see, back in 1975, Congress ordered automakers to more than double the fuel economy of passenger cars. This act mandated that the average miles per gallon be raised from 13 to 27.5.

From then on Congress has toyed with the idea of raising CAFE standards again. And in the next few weeks the U.S. Senate will size up legislation that will set an average car and light truck fuel economy standard of 52 mpg.

That has major auto manufacturers wailing like scolded children. And now, the Alliance of Automotive Manufacturers (comprised of BMW, DaimlerChrysler, General Motors, Mazda, Mitsubishi, Porsche, Toyota and Volkswagen) is calling on consumers to sign a petition to keep this legislation from going forward.

Now, I could understand this temper tantrum if the 52 mpg mark was expected to be achieved by 2010. But that's not the case at all. This 52 mpg hallmark will be set for 2030. That's 23 years from now!

Being a writer, I like to think that I am king of procrastination. But ye gods, man! Twenty-three years to do what the Prius, a ten-year-old technology, mind you, can already do?! Give me a break.

As John Andrew Holmes once said on procrastination, "Speech is conveniently located midway between thought and action, where it often substitutes for both."

And that's all I hear from these big companies, a lot of talk. "Oh my, this is too hard to do, it's unfair. Why, you, Mr. Guv'ment, should put more effort into ethanol and offer more incentives for people to buy cleaner cars."

Or, "But I don't want to sleep by myself tonight, I'm scared, I want to sleep with Big Oil."

But I know what big brother is going to say. "Suck it up kiddo, growing up is hard. And I'm certainly not going to lose more support by toting you around forever."

As some anonymous thread on the web said, "Procrastination is like masturbation, in the end you're just screwing yourself."

Right-o man, you witty son of a gun. I don't think these guys would even want an extra hand if offered; they're far too good at screwing themselves as is.

Meanwhile, while our latest gaggle of bureaucratic suck-ups wade in the pockets of Big Auto here in the U.S., Japan's Ministry of Economy, Trade and Industry is pumping $1.72 billion over the next five years into technology that will help cut fuel consumption and reduce carbon dioxide emissions.

I'd say the Japanese are betting almost $2 billion the American companies are going belly up, leaving them with the lion's share of the market.

A market, mind you, that will demand fuel efficiency as the price of gas goes up . . . and up . . . and up, ad infinitum.

So you want a good metaphorical stock tip?

Invest in nails.

Because we could be filling a lot of corporate coffins soon.

Keep your hopes in the future and your sense in the present.

Field Palmer